how to make a winter happiness plan
write down a list of things that you’d like to do this winter, that will make you happy
I made my first Winter Happiness Plan because of a conversation with my friend Michael almost fifteen years ago. We’d moved to Seattle and Portland, and by early November we were already shocked by the amount of darkness and rain of the Pacific Northwest. How will we make it through the winter? We decided to make winter happiness plans: we’d plan to do things that would make us happy in winter, and looking forward to them and doing them would make the winter easier. We pulled out sheets of paper and made our lists. I’ve been making one every year since; even the years Adam and I lived in San Francisco, where there really is no winter exactly. It’s one of my favorite fall/winter rituals.
If you want to make one too, the winter solstice (today, if you’re in the northern hemisphere) is a good day for it, or do it in the fall at your first inkling of the feeling of the seasons changing. Here’s how:
Label the top of a piece of paper / notes document WINTER HAPPINESS PLAN.
Make a list of things that you’d like to do this winter, that will make you happy.
That’s basically it, but here are some thoughts on how I do it — feel free to adapt them however you like.
I usually plan on a sheet of paper, but sometimes I use a notebook, or a google doc on the computer, or a notes doc on my phone.
Once I’ve made an initial list, sometimes I organize it more neatly into categories, or pare it down to a more manageable feeling number of things. Some years I split the paper up into a 2 x 2 grid, and label the 4 boxes with category headings, like Adventure, Outside, Health, Cooking or whatever is on my mind that year. Sometimes it’s just a list, sometimes I use bullet points, sometimes I number it. Whatever works.
When you’re satisfied with your plan, tuck it in the back of a notebook, in a drawer, magnet it on the fridge, tape it to the inside of your bathroom cabinet or closet door, whatever feels right. Or copy it into a notebook you use regularly, or type it up in a notes doc on your phone.
The process of making the plan and thinking through the question “what can I plan that will make me happy this winter” appears to be the most important part. I often only look at it once or twice more in a winter, or sometimes once a month, or sometimes never again.
If there’s anything that needs looking into, like a trip to book, tickets to buy, reservations to make, or something to save up for, making the list can also be the spark to start to do or research some of those things. I want to go to some of the first Thursdays art things, I’ll put them on my calendar so I see them as options coming up. Or if I decide when to do something, I can start making plans, and invite others to join for some of them. It’s nice to have a few things on the calendar to look forward to.
Some themes on my lists over the years
Generally, I like restful things, experiences vs stuff, many free and inexpensive things, and things outside or with nature. Plans with the feeling of ease to them. A mix of things with other people, and solo time. I love food, dinner parties, and making/eating pickles. I love outdoor adventures but they’re more difficult for me in the wet-cold of winter so the happiness plan is extra important there to get momentum. I love to swim and soak in hot water, and also need to plan that to get enough.
For me, a happiness plan works best when it’s a mix permission and encouragement to do things that are fun just for me, or together with people I love spending time with. I personally find it easy in winter to be of service, to do projects that focus on being useful to others, to do year end giving, chores, and improvement projects, and I leave those off the happiness plan. Those are already going to happen. I aim to keep this list to things that make me feel little sparks of excitement, that I might not have thought to do or remembered in the midst of winter, otherwise.
Here are some things that have been on my lists repeatedly over the years; they’re of course Amelia-specific, but feel free to adapt any of them to your own lists.
Throw X dinner parties (or other parties — or get specific with themes or occasions)
Specific foods to cook or things to bake (often a list of wintery favorites, or “cook X new recipes” or “learn to make ___” or “roast cherry tomatoes and whole heads of garlic”)
List out the outdoor activities I want to do (a snowshoe hike, go winter camping in the snow, hike or camp on the Olympics beaches, climb a mountain in the snow, go winter kayaking, mushroom hunting, take a city bike ride on a nice day)
Go to [a hot spring / friend’s hot tub / polar bear plunge / swim in a pool / the Olympus Spa]
Spend time in parks or green spaces in the city (maybe one favorite and one new-to-me one — in winter I love flower conservatories, gardens, plant stores)
Plan a date to [place I’ve been meaning to check out]
Have a solo retreat
Schedule a massage
A fermentation project (fire cider, kimchi, a type of pickle, etc)
[Making something crafty or sewing some clothes]
Buy [a cozy sweater, a candle, a new notebook, etc — something to enjoy all winter]
Take a week+ long trip to somewhere warmer, or at least where I can get some sun
Make a shelf of natural wonders with winter things (pinecones, twigs, lichen, stones, leaves, etc collected on walks)
Make a zine, write X blog posts, etc (but nothing too ambitious that would feel like work vs fun)
Collaborate on an art or writing project
Write X pen pal letters
Take [a class or lesson]
Have a spa night at home
City exploring afternoon / library exploring afternoon
Host a movie night and make popcorn
Some thoughts on how to approach making a list
A winter happiness plan is a list, but not a checklist in terms of a todo list or a list of goals. (Although some years I mark things off that I’ve done, just to keep track.) I think of it more as a menu. I feel no pressure to do all of the things on the plan, it’s about giving my future potentially-dreary-feeling self some options and ideas to do some happy things. It’s nice to pull it out (or stumble upon) when things feel very dark and dreary.
It’s not a checklist but it is nice to plan things that are actionable, check-off-able. That is, they are either done or not done, and you know it. I try to stay away from intentions and vague things. Early on in list making I may have been tempted to write something like “eat food that makes my body feel good” on the happiness plan. I love to eat and I love to feel good, but when is that ever done? That would probably end up feeling too vague and even potentially verging on self-improvement-y vs fun, a bit of pressure all winter long. So I might write something like “cook [list of specific favorite winter recipe(s)]” and “make fire cider for the first time” and “host a dinner party” instead.
If you’re wanting to try something new but not sure exactly what, be open ended but quantify the plan. Going from “explore new parks” to “explore 3 new parks” takes it from intention to something check-off-able and thus relieves the feeling of being never done. And make it easy. If I’m thinking of going five parks, maybe what I really need to do is explore two or three, or even one. Or add “on Saturday mornings” or “once a month” to make things more of a plan, and less of an intention.
Getting SPECIFIC is great. “Go to a museum” is more specific than the also-happiness-inducing “have a city exploring afternoon”. I would even write down “go to the Burke Museum on a free First Thursday” or “see the Calder show at SAM and invite a friend” if I already had an idea in mind. But just the spark of the plan to go to a museum or spend an afternoon exploring is enough.
Solo delights are perfect for winter happiness, maybe something Artist’s Date style: take a notebook and pen on a solo date to a coffeeshop, or go to a favorite store and buy a small treat. Or two hours to write in a notebook without interruption on Saturday mornings, or once a month.
What kind of time do you want for yourself this winter? What kind of delights? What do you know makes you happy, what do you want to plan and look forward to?
I’ve been swimming a lot with family the past week and a half: in the ocean, pools, hot springs. Funny to write this when most of my winter happiness plan this year is to be away from Seattle entirely for most of the dark rainy months. A completely new type of plan.
Thanks to everyone who replied to the last newsletter requesting this guide. I hope it’s helpful, please let me know if you have questions, or write back or leave a comment and tell me about something on your winter happiness plan!
— Amelia